The Suze Orman Show: Couples, Communication, and Financial Ruination – Are You Talking About Money?

 

Welcome to a potent dose of financial reality from The Suze Orman Show! Tonight, Suze dives deep into a topic that can make or break relationships: couples and communication about money. As Suze emphatically states, "If you are not [communicating about money], then you are heading for financial ruination, so to speak."

This episode is packed with real-life dilemmas, tough love, and actionable advice. Let's break down the highlights.

The Core Message: Talk About Money or Risk It All

Suze kicks off with a powerful warning: a lack of financial communication between partners is a recipe for disaster.

"When it comes to a relationship it is so incredibly, vitally important that you and your partner... communicate about money, especially if you are a couple that's moving in together, living together, sharing money, paying bills together. You can't hold out on each other."

She urges everyone:

• Disclose your debts: Credit card debt, student loans – lay it all on the table.

• Discuss your habits: Are you good with money? Are you struggling? Talk about it!

• The danger of silence: When you don't communicate, assumptions are made, and "you are actually separating what could be a great relationship."

Suze's Challenge: Starting tomorrow, every Sunday, make it a dedicated day to talk to your partner about money. If you're hiding something, reveal it. "If you can't easily sit down and talk with one another about money, something then is wrong with your relationship. Period."

Case Study 1: The Pre-Wedding Debt Bomb - Bethany's Shock

Bethany from Louisiana calls in with a bombshell: her fiancé just revealed he has $40,000 in credit card debt and $30,000 in student loans – just two weeks before their wedding!

• The Revelation: Bethany had to ask him about his finances. He admitted he was "really embarrassed" and wouldn't have told her otherwise.

• Suze's Concern: Two years together, and this significant debt ($70,000 total) was hidden. Suze questions Bethany's true feelings, noting the hesitation in her voice about proceeding with the wedding.

• Suze's Verdict: "This is a warning sign that maybe you should just think a little bit about this before you go ahead with this legal obligation." Marriage is a serious legal and financial commitment. If he hid this, he might hide more.

When Job Stress Meets Financial Reality - Ann's Dilemma

Ann from Illinois is unhappy in her stressful but well-paying job. She and her husband can survive on his income, but savings and retirement contributions would suffer.

• Suze's Perspective: What's truly stressful? Losing the job and paycheck, and then facing the inability to save or retire comfortably.

• The Power of Reframing: Suze suggests Ann examine why the job is stressful. "If it's not coming from your job and it's coming from you, just lighten up on yourself, girlfriend." Often, changing your internal perspective is easier than facing the financial stress of unemployment.

Mortgage After Death: Protecting Your Loved Ones - Katie's Question

Katie, 24 and single, owns her home and worries if her parents could be burdened with her mortgage if she passes away, even though they didn't co-sign.

• Suze's Clarification: No, her parents won't be financially burdened with the mortgage if they aren't co-signers. If they don't want the house, it can be sold by the estate.

• The Importance of Estate Planning: Suze emphasizes the need for a will or, even better, a living revocable trust to dictate who inherits assets.

Deep Dive: Financial Responsibilities in Blended Families - Amisha & Ryan

This was a pivotal one-on-one. Amisha is engaged to Ryan, who has two children (9 and 11) from a previous relationship and nearly $140,000 in student loan and personal debt (much of it from a custody battle). They disagree on Amisha's financial contribution.

• The Conflict: Amisha is unsure how much she should contribute, especially towards Ryan's children and his pre-existing debt. Ryan feels they might not be "in it together" as a true financial partnership.

• Ryan's Sacrifice: He spent significantly (~$100,000) to gain custody of his children.

• Suze's Financial Solution & Emotional Underpinning:

  • Kids' Expenses: "You should be paying equally with Ryan for the kids." Suze stresses that if Amisha is marrying Ryan, the children become her family too, financially and emotionally.

  • Ryan's Personal Debt: "His student loan, let him pay for it himself, girlfriend."

  • The 80% Rule: Suze proposes they both contribute 80% of their take-home pay to a joint account for shared bills (excluding Ryan's student loan payments). The remainder is for personal savings (Amisha) or debt repayment (Ryan).

  • The Bigger Picture: Suze warns Amisha, "If you're going to separate the money, there's something that's separating you from this relationship with Ryan and the kids... Ryan deserves a woman in his life that not only loves his kids emotionally, but wants to be part of this entire family unit, financially speaking as well."

"Can I Afford It?" Segment - Dreams vs. Financial Reality

A fan-favorite segment where Suze gives her blunt "Approved" or "Denied."

• Bill (57): 2012 Cadillac CTS Coupe ($70,000 cash)

  • Assets: $4,333/month income (currently on unemployment), $814 expenses (doubted by Suze), two homes owned outright (one to sell), $15k liquid cash, $389k investments, $69k retirement. FICO over 800, no debt.

  • Verdict: DENIED. "You are in fantasy land here, $814 a month in expenses you don't have... You don't have enough money to generate the income. No way!"

• Lindsay (34): Cotton Candy Machine ($600)

  • Finances: $15,700/month income (inc. rental), $11,315/month expenses. Debts: $349k mortgage, $254k second mortgage, $33k student loans, $17k car loan. Savings: $24k liquid, $5k investments, $99k retirement.

  • Verdict: DENIED. "You don't have eight months worth of savings... Every penny counts, girlfriend."

• Rita: One-Year Yarn Club Membership

  • Finances: $11,649/month income, $7,522/month expenses. Home owned outright, no debt. Savings: $318k liquid, $61k investments, $675k retirement.

  • Verdict: APPROVED! "Of course you have the money to do this... knit me something!"

• Will: Family Vacation to Australia ($4,000)

  • Finances: $5,650/month income, $4,178/month expenses (inc. rent). Debt: $14k car loan. Savings: $14k liquid, $18k retirement. Wants to take his 14-month-old daughter to meet family.

  • Verdict: DENIED. "We are seriously lacking [an emergency fund]... Save the emergency fund."

Ask Suze: Quick Financial Wisdom

• Taking out a subsidized student loan to establish credit?

  • Suze says NO. Student loans are for educational expenses. Credit is built by repaying loans, and interest will accrue after graduation. Don't take on debt unnecessarily.

• Should I be added to the title of my boyfriend's new house if I help with payments?

  • Suze says NO. "Let it be his home. Let him pay for it." If you're not on the loan, don't be on the title. Consider your contributions as rent.

Suze School: Push vs. Pull Bill Payments

A crucial tip for Financial Literacy Month:

• Don't let creditors PULL money from your account. This gives them ongoing access.

• Instead, PUSH money from your bank account to your creditor. You control the payment.

A Child's Generosity: Dylan's $50 Gift Card

Seven-year-old Dylan wants to give his retiring teacher a 

$50giftcardfromhissavedallowance($

7,138 total, partly from parents for college, partly earned). His parents want him to save it for college.

• Suze's Advice: APPROVED. "This is your money, is it not?... Boyfriend, go ahead and do it." She emphasizes that children need to have decision-making power over money that is truly theirs. It's a lesson in itself.

Suze's Final Thought: People First, Then Money, Then Things

Reflecting on Dylan's call, Suze offers a vital lesson for parents:

"When you give money to a kid and now that money is in the kid's account, you can't tell that kid anymore you can't do this... It's got to be from some future date. Kids don't understand the future."

If money is for a specific long-term goal like college, put it in an account like a 529 plan, out of the child's direct control. But money in their name is their money, and they should learn to manage it (with guidance).

And her enduring motto: "People first, then money, then things."